Tia Tequila - who?
May 3, 2008
I hadn’t heard the name until seeing the “A Shot at love” reality show on some low rent TV channel when my cable went out. I was surprised that they had a show with so many people vying for the affections of this girl.. A girl who looks like most any you’d find at your local strip club. “What’s the catch?”, I thought. Oh, she’s bisexual. That’s cool.. Hmm, this would be super controversial if it were, I dunno, 1999? Not even the “touchy” subject of yesteryear seemed enough to justify this show. I didn’t get it.
Out of morbid curiosity, I watched the whole episode. 16 Lesbians who looked like men, and 16 men, were competing to give her attention. I don’t know a nice way to say this, but I think they could do much better. Her tattoos made her look 10 years older than she is. I was shocked to find out she was 26, I thought for sure she was pushing early/mid 30s. Her personality is, average. Just your typical, “I grew up in the suburbs but I’m embellishing the hood”, girl.
Anyhow, the season ends, she gets her guy (I seriously didn’t think any of the “women” had a chance. They all looked like men - why settle for a woman who looks like a man when you can have, I dunno, a man?). So besides that shocking discovery that she picked a dude over a dudely chick, my mind swept this out of relevance and I began thinking of more important things, such as whether to buy Bumblebee tuna or Starkist. (Starkist won btw).
Just this last month I saw the show on again, “reruns” I think to myself. But no, um, she’s back.. Wait, what? Why? The show was supposed to give her “A shot at love” and it did. Next contestant. But no, her 15 minutes of fame were apparently not enough. What about the other girls that want a shot at love? I honestly don’t care if she can or can’t find love at this point, she was given a perfectly good opportunity and either screwed it up or quit it for another shot at fame. Yeah, we get it, you’re edgy. You like girls and guys but will probably pick a guy again this time because you only kiss girls for attention at bars (which became popular in the late 90s I should add).
Sooner or later your biological clock will be ticking and you really will have to choose between a man and a life with women who look like Tom Jones. Don’t waste the chances you are given, sweet pea.
Portzer #3
Sun gazing - new hobby for extreme idiots
April 5, 2008
Today we are going to talk about Sun gazing. This is a rare fad, that is starting to pick up some popularity (unfortunately). Some people do not understand the consequences of staring at the sun with their naked eyes, mostly out of sheer animal-like stupidity. But sometimes because they are willing to discard common sense and follow a few yahoos who say it is a good thing. So I’m going to reiterate the problems with this idea.
If you do a google search for sungazing, you will find dozens of sites proclaiming the usefulness of not only staring into the sun, but doing so for extended periods of time. It is mind boggling how people are perfectly wiling to find new and inventive ways to screw themselves for life. And this phenomenon is no different.
Before I dive into my rant, here is what you can expect as a “sun gazer.”
Here is what the grand canyon looks like, to a sun gazer:
Here is what hot lesbians kissing ,looks like to a sun gazer:
Here is what a beach vacation, looks like to a sun gazer:
As you might have noticed, there is a big black hole in the middle of each image. It’s not a mistake, that’s what life looks like when you’ve damaged your eyes by staring into the sun. It’s very simple science, the back of your eyeball called the “retina”, is responsible for interpreting light. When you stare at the sun, excessive ultraviolet light literally burns the back of your eyeball, until it is no longer sensitive to light. The result is a very large dead spot in your vision. In other words, don’t do it. You must be a dumbass to the 10th power to do something like this.
Now I will go into reasons people might do this. Some idiots stared at the sun, and told other idiots that it made them feel better. Cured their diseases, made them feel “invigorated”, and even increased their sex drive. I don’t know about you, but a big part of my sex drive comes from how people look. You can pretty much kiss that goodbye if you listen to their claims (I hate to sound “mean”, but if it saves someone’s eyesight, I’m willing to be insensitive for a bit).
What’s interesting about these sites, is that they all have disclaimers telling you “not to look into the sun.” This should not surprise you. This means that there is a very real likelihood of them getting sued for someone’s eye damage as a direct result of following their advice. They are telling you to do it, and not to do it at the same time. Doesn’t that strike you as a bit odd?
Let’s talk about sex drive, shall we? If you’re middle aged or above, and find your wang a little droopy there is a reason for this. It’s called nature. At that age you’re not supposed to be having children. You’re supposed to be either taking care of the ones you have, or enjoying retirement. It’s a natural process. Besides, if it was such a huge deal you could get hormone therapy and probably get some relief. I just hate to see people screw themselves over because some idiot gave them bad advice.
A lot of people have problems in their life, and are looking for answers, cures, etc. However adding to your problems by destroying your vision is probably not going to help. I’m not being mean to sun gazers, because in all likelihood they can’t read this.
portzer #3
AOL stole my soul for 2 months severance and a frisbee
February 7, 2008
I sit here, now in my 4th, and almost fifth month of unemployment wondering where the hell I went wrong. I wake up, job search and find that the last six years of my life were wasted on taking a road to nowhere with a hobo named Jarvis that would open my eyes to new levels of craptacularism. Jarvis being AOL that is…
You see, Jarvis taught me how to be cynical and conniving. It told me to take a hammer to Jiminy Crickets head if he dared chirp at me. For where I was there was no need for hope. All I needed were the brains of a chimp and the ability to accept what I was doing wouldn’t help the customer. For five years I thought, “Hey they can’t be that dumb.” or ,”They’ll listen this time.”
So here I am before you, at home, in my chonies and looking to gain my humanity back. Never again will I let a corporation take away pieces of me… well not unless they pay much better and give me some skills and experience I can take somewhere else… Ugh, if I do that then I’ll have to say how much I’ve wasted trying to be successful in the eyes of those around me. But at least I’ll be doing it from a leather chair in silk boxers.
Portzer #2
Looking for a better life
::sniff:: ::sniff:: and crap like that…
Nancy Grace upstaged by Dutch reporter named Vries
February 5, 2008
In an amazing twist of events on the drab, overplayed, and severely unnecessary Holloway coverage - a Dutch reporter pulls off the Super Bowl of stories, and makes Nancy Grace look like the peewee football league in comparison. The reporter set up some kind of sting operation on Van Der Sloot, involving cameras, fake friends, disgusting Dutch food, and a lot of patience. More than a week ago he was telling us that he had new information and would show it to us this Sunday, and he sure delivered.
His evidence and reporting in the case push Nancy grace squarely into irrelevancy on the topic. With Nancy’s appearance today touting Vries’s weeks old information as “breaking news - Holloway dumped at sea”, it’s clear that she exists off of the table scraps of real reporters. Meanwhile, no one knows if the admission on Vries’s tape was true or if it was a fabrication. Mr. Van Der Sloot has lied before, and he could be lying again. Or he could be lying about lying. Or he could be lying about lying about lying. The point is, without a body it’s still not proof of the crime. Though it does leave the guy in the hot seat.
But think about this for a moment - what if the admission was a distraction? What if he really hacked her up psycho style and buried the body, and this whole “she overdosed so I freaked out and dumped her in the ocean” scenario is just a seed planted to divert from the real murder? Who knows? Nancy however does not feel the need to think outside the box on this. Though she may just be happy to have something to report on, after so many agonizing months of repeating the same information.
In her frenzy to jump on last months news bandwagon, she’s overlooking the possibility of Van Der Sloot planting a less incriminating story. Cheers Nancy. Maybe there are some soccer moms out there that think you’ve got the scoop. But we know better.
Portzer#3
This just in.. Jessica Simpson, is still not hot
January 11, 2008
I’ve written about her before, but now it is even more apparent that Jessica Simpson is not hot.
Take a look at her in what appears to be granny panties, converted into pants. I’m not sure how she pulled this off, or if she just likes looking like a 1960s feminist (pants to your chest so as not to arouse men, and no bra). But if that’s what she wants to do, more power to her. I just think that some people should (if they are so inclined to let themselves go) stay out of the spotlight. I think she went downhill when she stopped singing and became a pseudo reality TV star. Musically, she wasn’t particularly talented. But she was good looking (at one point).
And when meshed with a handsome dolt of a boyfriend on the TV show Newylweds, she began a sort of upward spiral of celebrity-dom. (BTW it was Portzer#2 that thought Nick Lachey was handsome).
I’m sure by now that, no one knows why she’s famous. At this point, she’s famous because she’s famous. These kinds of things become self perpetuating. Indeed this is the case for many celebrities. Like a nuclear reaction, once started it no longer needs assistance to continue. The same holds true for a variety of celebrities who are “famous because they’re famous.”
Let’s look at a few more. Hm, Christina Richi, and Paris Hilton. Fame was kick started by a background of wealth, pseudo-famous family members, and a short lived TV show. But they became self perpetuating. Even though they really had nothing to offer the public, not particularly skilled in acting, or dancing, or driving, or even eating. In fact I’d say the average joe on the street is more skilled at eating than Nicole Richie and more skilled at driving than Paris Hilton. But they are famous. Why? Because people scream and say “omg it’s someone famous” when they’re around. But why are they famous? “I don’t know, cause they’re famous!” Clearly celebrity fame is dependent on mass hysteria.
I won’t say there aren’t really famous people, because there are. Take Louis Pasteur for example, that guy invented antibiotics. He was famous and still is well known. He had a reason to be famous. These other people, not so much.
Oh and just a pointer to Jessica Simpson, I’m a guy but I’m pretty sure the granny panties are supposed to go under the pants, and you should not try to reinforce them with a sewing machine and add leggings to them. That’s not hot.
Portzer #3
Would you let foreign nationals access your hard drive?
January 3, 2008
Well if you take your computer to Best Buy for software work anytime soon, that is probably what you are doing. Some sadistic bean counter somewhere has discovered that they can lower the threshold on quality in order to save money in a new and disgusting way.
From what I’ve been reading, the scenario is as follows: you bring in your computer with its software problem, they hook it up to their network and turn on remote desktop. Some guy from India connects to it. Presumably he/she fixes the issue. Meanwhile Best Buy keeps just enough “tech” staff to sell you stuff, mind you, they aren’t particularly interested in fixing it.
But getting back to the remote computer connection. What else do they do? Peruse your files? They could. My issue with it has more to do with being outside US jurisdiction than what country they’re from.
If you think customer service accountability is bad, when it goes overseas it gets much, much worse. Having worked in tech support myself, I got to see what happened to customers who got inferior service from other locales. I used to call them the “magic button pushers”, because they would literally tell customers “I just pressed the server reset button and your problem will be gone in 5 minutes. There is of course, no such thing.
My brother has problems with his cell phone bill, the customer service is exclusively from India. They tell him after repeated calls that “all is well.” This while his phone is repeatedly turned off for non-payment of unexplained charges, even after he pays them. In short, there is little or no accountability when dealing with foreign customer service.
I’m getting off topic some, but I guess my point is, if talking to foreign customer service / tech support over the phone is an unreliable nightmare at times, there is no way in hell I’d trust them to have remote control over my computer. Though I’m sure they could fix a software problem, the lack of accountability and difference in quality standards makes things like identity theft a much more frightening prospect.
Dateline NBC to employ new predator punishment
January 3, 2008
We’ve all seen Dateline NBC’s “To Catch a predator”, it seems a bit over the top at times. The real reason people watch, is not because they want to see “justice”, but because we all have a morbid curiosity of watching other people’s lives fall apart. We tell ourselves, “I just want to see those bastards get what they deserve.” In reality, you are fascinated by seeing people’s lives destroyed.
With that out of the way… Rumor has it that Dateline NBC news will offer the suspects an alternative.
Below you see Dateline’s newest employee, along with their underage decoy.
Evidently, this guy here will enter the room after the suspects make contact. Chris Hansen will then then read the chat log, containing the fantasies of the suspect. The kicker is, the big guy above will be acting out the fantasies on the male suspects. It will be an odd change of roles, to be sure. Chris Hansen will hang out to ask them to describe in detail if the sex acts measured up to their expectations.
Before Geek Squad existed, it was known as the (dreaded) “Tech Bench”
December 21, 2007
In the last few months, Best Buy stores around the nation had their Geek Squad machines and pseudo- tech employees scoured for illegal software and company policy violations. Read the full story here:
Well, before my days at AOL, I worked at Best Buy. I started off in the merchandising department but felt wasted there, and wanted to be an asset to my company. Keep in mind, I didn’t think anything was wrong with the company at the time (now they make me gag). I really wanted to work at the Tech Bench, which is now known as the Geek Squad.
I managed to grab the attention of the head Tech Bench supervisor and informed him of my computer knowledge, and finally got an interview. He liked what I had to offer and requested that I be transferred over to his area. When I reported to my first day at the Tech Bench, they told me to help out computer sales. I thought, wasn’t I supposed to work with the techs at the actual counter? The tech supervisor informed me that they wanted to see “how well” I do in sales first before working with the techs. Ok, that’s fine. A few weeks went by working with computer sales and finally I was able to work with the techs and become trained in their procedures and practices.
Only a few weeks in this (un) wonderful new position, I found out quickly that amid the fancy decor and plethora of (false) smiles, there was chaos ebbing from within. First off, there were only 3 people who really knew what they were doing, not including me. The others strayed away from the technical aspect and attempted to sell ridiculous “services” to customers. Behind the actual tech counter was a small room that contained multiple shelves for storing desktop computers and related hardware and a locked cage with laptops, digital cameras and cellular phones. Each computer back there had an order slip in which briefly described the work needed to be performed on it, mainly OS reinstalls, virus removal, or just simply in need of memory upgrades. Because these systems would be on the shelves for quite some time, customers would come in or call asking about the status of their system. The items in the locked cage, well that’s a different story.
One day, no sooner did I clock in and get behind the desk, did a customer approach me with an inquiry: customer - hi, I checked my computer in two weeks ago, and wanted to know the status. Best Buy used this application known as S.T.A.R.S., not to be confused with the special forces team from the Resident Evil series, which was actually good. This program was horribly bloated, convoluted, and lacked a logical interface. I used this so called S.T.A.R.S. to track the customer’s status and it said “awaiting work”. Me: “Ok, let me take a look in the back.” In the back room on the bottom shelf, there it was. The order slip said it needed a new CDROM drive installed, but it sure as hell wasn’t completed. Back to deliver the bad news. I informed them, “Sorry sir, it’s still waiting to be worked on.” They abruptly shouted “What??!! That’s been with you guys for two weeks, and nothing has been done??.” “Yeah, I’m sorry, we’ve been experiencing a large amount of orders lately, but I’ll see to it that it gets done in the next day”, I replied. The locked cage was a foul mess of grand proportions. Instead of having major repairs done on-site, or at least in the same city, these items were shipped way south of our location. Most of the time, these items just sat in the cage, hanging around collecting dust and whatnot. Same scenarios as above occurred… Customer - “Hi, I was told that my laptop had a defective motherboard, and that it would need to be replaced, but it’s been two weeks so far and I haven’t heard anything yet.” Me - “Ok, let me go find out the status”. I checked in the S.T.A.R.S. program for the laptop’s status, it said “awaiting transit”. To get a second opinion, I went to the back to see it with my own eyes. I had a manager unlock the cage, and way in the back was the laptop with a tag attached. The information on it indicated that it was to be sent out to the service center for a motherboard replacement, and was dated over 2 weeks back. I delivered the unfortunate news to the customer, in which a great rage ensued, followed by colorful language. I notified the main tech supervisor of the situation and he took care of it, along with a severely disgruntled customer. I doubt they will be buying an extended service plan from Best Buy ever again.
That day, there were two other techs on duty, and I asked them about having one person stay in the back and complete some much needed labor by getting items labeled properly and prepared for a parcel pickup, etc. They told me that “the supervisor wants everyone to be at the front and to help sell services”. What kind of illogical nonsense is that?. If people don’t get their computers and equipment back in a timely fashion, then the name becomes blackened and no one will bring their computers in for any kind of service, not to mention lost business. There was countless times that upon clocking in for my shift, there was a line of people at the tech bench, waiting to check in their equipment, and using that forsaken S.T.A.R.S program was so awfully slow to operate, even for the tenured techs. A week went by, and I learned how their horrible business model works.
In order for Best Buy to make huge profits, they need to sell “services”. These services include packages known as “system customizations” and “anti-virus install” among others. I’m not sure if the Geek Squad still utilizes these names or services, but this is what I had to face. A system customization involves launching the system configuration utility, disabling all the startup items, then rebooting the system. Wow, all this for just $19.95!!! What the heck?. Just as bad as that was the horrid antivirus install. It involved installing Norton antivirus or Norton internet security (double gag) and then installing the newest updates/definitions. All this for just $24.95!! Usually customers who just purchased a new PC would get suckered into this. The sales people or tech would tell them, “Oh, if you don’t get this now, this poor computer will be destroyed by plague carrying computer viruses”. What a scam.
Other services we provided weren’t too bad like a data backup, or OS re-installs, those were fine, however the software used wasn’t. Someone had recently wiped off the hard drive on our test/backup system, and was in the process of reinstalling the standard software. I needed to back up some files for a customer but since the backup computer wasn’t ready yet, the supervisor hands me a CDR with the words written, “Nero Burning ROM”. He told me to go ahead and install that on the members computer to help backup all their files. I examined the folders once I inserted the disk, there was the main install executable for Nero along with a serial key generator. What the hell, so I’m installing pirated software onto a customer’s computer?? That’s bad business practice, highly unethical, illegal too. I just followed through with the backup and didn’t say anything. Later on, I found the CD binder where they kept the software, in it was countless CDRs with multiple copies of Windows 98, Me, 2000, XP. There was also a disk containing a phony copy of Norton antivirus, McAfee antivirus, Nero, Win DVD, among others. The sad thing was, I never saw any software discs with the actual factory label; they were always on CDR’s. I wondered if the head store manager(s) knew of this. Maybe, maybe not.
The Best Buy service plans depend on factors like duration (in years) and price. The “Performance Service Plan” ranged from $250-$300 and varied from 2-3 years. It stated, in these shortened terms, “If the item experiences defects with functionality, etc, we will replace that affected area without any charge, including all labor.” This means like a CDROM drive that fails would be replaced for free if it occurred during the duration of the warranty service plan. Now thats all fine and dandy, but does not include software problems, which is understandable. No one wants to deal with operating system glitches, and the problems and combinations of problems are nearly infinite. The bad thing is, when a particular component failed such as a motherboard, we didn’t keep those on hand, so once again, it had to be shipped far south for a replacement. The only thing we were capable of replacing was DVD/CDROM drives. This customer brought in their desktop computer which had a failed DVDROM unit and was within our performance plan. I happen to be the one who was going to be replacing the drive. The tech supervisor led me to the shelf and grabbed some major generic off brand, which was very low in price. “Use this one”, he said. There happened to be a matching brand and model number of the original broken drive on the shelf as well, I pointed this out to the tech supervisor, but he said, “I said use this one”. I was stunned.
Another instance of poor practice occurred at the beginning of my shift. A fellow tech was laughing at the fact that the customer’s computer contained pornographic material. “Ha hah ah aha hh ah ah ah, this guy checked his computer in for spyware removal and I just found this folder full of porn pictures and videos!!!” I sarcastically replied, “Wow, well I guess that’s where the root of the issue is.” He smiled greatly, “Yes it is”. He continued to browse through various folders on the hard drive, hoping to find more, probably for his own amusement. Keep in mind that all techs, excluding me, had USB flash drives handy at all times (I never bothered buying a flash drive at the time), and his was indeed plugged into the customer’s computer. I pretended to ignore what I just witnessed and helped out some customers at the main desk.
On a Friday night during the last 3 hours, the tech supervisor approaches me with a sheet of paper containing columns of numbers. Him: “Ok, this is where we’re at as far as services are concerned, I need you to sell some asap”. He pointed to a lonely $24.95 on the sheet. Me: “Ok, I’ll see what I can do”. Him: “I hope so, we really need this”. His tone was demanding and unprofessional. Sadly, this wasn’t the only time I had to deal with the “service profits” sheet I’d grown to love. At random times during my shift, other sales managers would approach me and “inform” me of the amount of services being sold. Manager: “this is where we’re at, this is where we need to be”. I began to think in my monologue, “No, this is where YOU want to be, since your bonuses come from a chunk of the profits made”. I made friends with a few people in various departments (ones who were there long before me), who shared the same ideas as me. We worked hard to sell additional “services” and such, made the company a profits along with bonuses for the sales managers, and yet we didn’t get anything in return. No commission. No goals. It wasn’t as if, ‘if you sell this amount in this amount of time, we’ll give you a raise, or enter a drawing to get a TV, or even a silly pizza party….”, nope, we got nothing. This further progressed my hatred for the company, but it wasn’t the killing blow.
The holiday season was upon us, as was the hiring of seasonal people for all departments. Among the few they hired for tech was someone I went to high school with and known for 4 years. After the 2nd week, he began to say, “Man, what is up with this place?? This job is a joke.” He began to see how the tech area operated, it’s poor procedures, scams, and severe neglect among other things. Out of conversation, he blatantly told me how much he was making per hour. I found that peculiar since he was making $3 more an hour than me, in fact, I was making the same amount since my hire date. I approached the tech supervisor that day and said “Why is it that the seasonal people, whom are temporary and only been working here for two weeks make more money per hour than me? We all do the same amount of work, we’re all with the tech bench.” His eyes were cold and dark. He swiftly responded, “Well, you’re actually computer sales helping out the techs, thats what I hired you here for.” I responded out of partial shock, “Oh, ok, sure”. What a filthy lie. At this point, I no longer wanted to help out the company in any such way. It’s sad that I actually sold a few service plans for $250 and $300 along with “system customization services” for the company and all I received was deceit. So, I perform “tech” work, sell their services, make the company huge profits and all I got was the wool pulled over my eyes. It was like the company “sheep” had just stuffed his ass in my face. This was the turning point of my “career” with Best Buy. No more Mr. nice tech.
It was time for me to give back to the community, and let Best Buy taste my vengeance. I changed from pitching services to pitching the meaning of their uselessness . I still needed to keep my job for at least a month so I still pitched the services when management was around, or least pretended to, but once I had the customer isolated, I told them, “Don’t buy the service plan, it’s a waste of money.” Customer (bewildered by what I said) “Umm, why??!” I replied “Because it’s a scam and a pure profit for them.” I could see that the customer was trying to disbelieve the fact that I was a genuine employee. “Look, this is a great computer, and I’m sure it will give you plenty of enjoyment, but you don’t need the service plan. Chances are, if anything fails, its still going to be 3-4 years from now, seriously. The chances of a hardware component failing is so slim, it’s best to save your $250.” The customer felt relieved that I had told them the truth, and purchased the computer (minus the useless service plan) and thanked me once again before leaving. I used this same scenario on numerous occasions. Distributor of pain, your loss becomes my gain. I thrived at the fact that the company was losing out on a lot of profits, it made me tickled yellow. You lie to me, I’m going to tell a reverse lie to your customers. Simple as that. There was a small handful of sales folks in computers, both permanent and seasonal, who also agreed that the company was festering with ill doings. When the customer attendance was low, we would get together and discuss how to strike back. They were unhappy with what was occurring, regardless of being permanent or temporary. I gave pointers on how to help turn down any additional services and to minimize store profits.
They trained me how to operate the register, a few weeks back, which I hated. I’ve handled cash in my past jobs, and I resent it like no other. On a Friday evening, 1 week before Christmas, I pulled the ultimate anti-scam. A customer had purchased a new PC, printer, and it’s required accessory cables and extra ink. I happen to be on register for the time being and had the opportunity to do my worst. The head tech supervisor was also next to my register, going over some paperwork. I rang up all the items, the customer paid, then was gone. Immediately afterwards, tech supervisor says, “There was something very wrong that you just did!” Me: “Well, I don’t think I left anything out that was in his cart” Tech boss: “No! You failed to ask him so many questions, oh my God” You didn’t ask him about antivirus, system customization, performance service plan, nothing!” (at this point he seemed very upset, as if his vehicle was stolen or something). Tech boss: “Because of that, we have just lost out on a few hundred dollars!” On the outside, I looked concerned but inside I was like a little kid at a carnival full of glee. The tech boss grabbed another computer sales person to take my place at the register, then said “come with me”. He led me to the Loss Prevention room and said “have a seat”. Haha, this is gonna be good, I thought. He left and momentarily came back with the main supervisor of computer sales. They sat down, tech boss began to tell computer boss about what I did, while I just looked at them. They asked me what was wrong, I told them I was having major family problems (which was a downright lie) and that I couldn’t get it off my mind. Tech boss gave me the spiel about “leaving family issues at home” and “coming to work with a positive attitude with the intent to sell”. The computer sales supervisor was far more professional about it when he threw in his input. After our little conference was over, I returned to the floor. I notified the people in our little group about what had happened, it made their night for sure, mine too.
One particular night, the tech supervisor was acting inappropriate with a poor attitude, most likely due to sales being low. As I was retrieving a finished computer in the back, he came slithering in and said, “I need you in computers, and sell a lot, we need services badly.” His tone was cold and unprofessional. I was having a relaxing evening so far, I actually got to reinstall an OS and some new memory on another machine. Well, this irritated me greatly, so I set out to do my worst. A middle-aged couple approached me and informed me that they were looking for an entirely new system. I assisted them in finding the best unit that met their needs. We were just about settled when the tech supervisor, whom was frantically attempting to talk to every customer in an attempt to sell useless services, managed to pull the husband away while his wife was still talking to me about the new computer. I told her how useless and wasteful the service plan was. “No matter how hard that guy persuades your husband to purchase the service plan, tell him NO!” She agreed and once the tech boss left to spread his poison to another customer, her husband came back to our area. He attempted to discuss the service plan with his wife when she nicely cut him off and said “No honey, we really don’t need it, I just had a good talk with this nice salesperson and says that we really don’t need it.” He agreed and that was that.
Me: (insert high score here) Best Buy: big fat zero.
Christmas and New Years came and went, and the new year was upon us. I was planning on working there for a few more weeks, then get the hell out. They began to cut a lot of people’s hours including myself; you would clock in, then 10 minutes later the supervisor would say “we didn’t make enough in services today so we have to send you home”. Lovely. By this time, I was no longer in the tech area at all, simply in the computer department, which was much better since I didn’t have to work with that horrible tech supervisor. Customers would come in, inquiring about our computers, and I just told them to buy from some other store. They asked, “Is Dell good?”. Me: “Oh yes, the best, here’s their number give them a call and they can custom create a system for you that suits your needs.” Even though I’m not fond of any type of manufactured system, I said anything just to prevent them from buying a system at the store. Some of the highest profits were from selling USB cables and printer cartridges. When customers came in, looking for these items, I would walk them over to that particular isle and show them the variety. “Oh my, these prices are so high, but I really need one.” I quickly replied, “I agree with you 100%. You can purchase one of these for several dollars less at the local Target or K-Mart.” They thanked me and left the store. I would share these stories of victory with the others who joined the resistance, Best Buy rebels if you will. They would initiate similar acts like me, but not nearly as bad. They would sell someone a computer, but purposely fail to pitch any of the services. I finally quit in February, and that was the end of my so-called tech career at Best Buy. Amen.
Well, I hope you took the time to read this genuine personal account about the horrors of Best Buy. It seems like all corporations have ill intentions of making money, and have poor management running the joint. For everyone’s sake, I hope they cleaned up their act immensely. Perhaps when the Geek Squad was created, they changed policies, ethics, and replaced some horrid workers. My guess is that they just changed their image as far as the public is concerned, sadly. It’s been said that evil never dies, and old (bad) habits die hard.
Well it’s black Tuesday all over again.
October 16, 2007
And it’s no surprise. Someone leaked that layoffs would be happening (today) weeks ago. AOL must be scratching their heads going “Who told?” Well we don’t know either. But we find it quite amusing.
Anyway, it should be called Happy Tuesday. Because people will just begin to see how much more life has to offer than a thankless, unrewarding job. A job that is one level above fast food, yet promised so much more.
To other “techs” in pseudo “technical” positions around the country. Think about this: If you have a hard time describing your job on a resume, that’s because your job is a joke. Real positions are well defined and easy to explain. If you have to think (like I did) and start listing out things you do instead of giving the name of a profession; your resume will not benefit from this job. Get out now.
Here’s what you can do: Go to school.
No matter how much it costs, or how much effort it takes. If you can afford it do it. At least get concrete certifications if you can’t make it to college. Though certifications are only as good as how up to date they are. Degrees are forever, keep that in mind. Getting an education is about the only reliable way to prevent yourself from being used as cheap labor. There are an unlimited amount of people out there that can fill a tech job. There aren’t an unlimited amount of them with degrees.
Anyway, I wish all those that were laid off well. I really do. Hopefully all will find more rewarding prospects in the future. It’s been real.
- Irqportzter #3
An evil has awakened in this land, and whilst my people fought for their very souls, you, AOL, LLC waged war against us!!!
October 12, 2007
As seen from a warehouse in Dulles, VA, it looks like AOL is getting their shit packed in, literally. Massive layoffs are imminent, my friends, and we can only hope they come swiftly. Someone will say that AOL will relocate to advertiser-friendly New York next spring. Someone will say what is lost can never be saved, I hope in this case, they’re correct.
These past few years have been excruciating and horrible. FST which was once a mecca of AOL tech knowledge, is now just a dumping ground for unwanted calls and pseudo-busy work to keep the funding coming. The management knows we have been trapped in a servitude of grim proportions, yet they fail to acknolwedge it. They pretend, “all is fine and dandy in this nest of love” though they too, are merely prisoners in this dead end job.
Our superior boss lives and works in VA, the stooge isn’t even on site. Though his shelter from perceived uselessness will soon itself become a ghost town.
I can’t believe that our developers know as much about this product as we do. The moment I knew AOL was doomed was when we asked the ACS developers how to fix ACS. They replied with “well, I could take countless hours and go through the code and scripts and eventually work out the bugs and have it working 100%, but thats what FST is for”, (semi-verbatim wording) That’s downright pathetic. In other words, developers lack sentience.
I only take solace in the fact that a real company, which had something to sell and wasn’t just in the right place at the right time - like AOL (but I digress) - a real company will simply laugh at their incompetence and send them packing to work at Burger King. That’s where that level of failure belongs.
Many senior techs are useless and unwilling to admit it. Especially the ones that have left and moved on to other positions, where their uselessness is hidden. When you asked them for their knowledge, they often answered with something off topic, if they don’t know the answer (which was often).
Example:
Me: “How do I manually uninstall Mcafee anti-virus (version whatever before we gave up on it)?”
Senior Tech: “Ummm, Have you tried add/remove programs?”
Me: “Umm, yeah how about answering the question I asked.”
Our team meetings have become a joke, we don’t even talk about technical issues and recent “data collection”. Instead, we play games like “tech trivia” and musical chairs. Very useful. When we did talk about technical issues, it was dominated by a few loud mouths who knew as much about teching as the people who used to work at the other callcenter.
I say “other” callcenter, because that’s all we are too, a callcenter. I may as well be selling Avon, because that’s about as useful as what will be on my resume from working here. It’s a useless, unrewarding place where you feel less and less human by the day. Since we’re going to close down soon anyways, why take calls anymore?. The data is irrelevant, counter-productive.
Heck, there’s only like 6-8 of us on the phones as it is, why don’t we just take some extra time off the phones and work on our resumes? I have found some useful info on http://www.howtowritearesume.net/. Let’s help one another escape this hell. Why wait til the ship sinks only to scramble and look for other work? Let’s be prepared ahead of time.
I wish the bell would toll soon for us, there is nothing here for me, I need the end to set me free.
