Bill Gates and the Oompa Loompa Empire…

Am I not turtley enough for the turtle club. Turtle, turtle, turtle!

Well it appears that Mr. Gates is going to step down from running day to day operations at Microsoft.  I guess it will be really nice to chill at home and sip a 40.  I mean come on, the dude is more powerful than Oprah.  I guess he is going to retire so that he can protect the secret treasure that our forefathers had hidden for hundreds of years.  Or he can hopefully go through a mid-life crisis, buy a Jag, get a Clay Aiken haircut, two monkeys that do Aikido and eat broccoli, and learn a new sense of fashion from Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen (that's right oversized rose colored glasses, big wooden beads and a shirt that will show off his non-existent chest).  I say hopefully because he looks like the character Dana Carvey played to get into the Turtle club.  What makes it even further amusing is if you imagine Gates running in slow motion with his lips out and his head hunched over while Bon Jovi's "Wanted Dead or Alive" plays in the background.  'Im a coWboy, on a steel horse IIII riiIIIIiide!!! IIIII'mMm WANTED DEAD OR ALIIIIIIIIVE!!!'

Well, I think we portzers (not portzer #1) will be ruling the world soon.  Through ninjitsu, |_33+ [0d||\|G, and our savvy business sense.  While I think portzer #1 will be left homeless having lost all of his money running a poop site with Mr. Greenstein.  Although, by our search and tag hits, it looks like the poo is popular.

Well good luck and have fun Bill.

Ride on cowboy… ride on…

portzer #2

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About irqportz

Disclaimer:  This site is not endorsed or maintained by any company or corporate entity. The opinions herein are solely those of the authors. Topics on this blog consist of a wide variety including but not limited to Internet technology, and bladder control.

One response to “Bill Gates and the Oompa Loompa Empire…”

  1. George says :

    NOOOoooOoo. Not mah bill gates. he’s my hero, I was going to be a project manager at his company and then i got told i would do better at whack-a-mole.

    NoooOOoo my idol hath left me.

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