What our Readers Want III

This is the ongoing post that answers the question, “What do our readers want and how can we help them to find it?” This information is taken directly from phrases of what people use to search our site.

Male crotch pics

Dirty dirty people….

muay + thai + money

You came to the right place my friends.  As you know two of us have fought for money growing up.  In fact that is how portzer #1 and I met.  On the mean streets of Philly at the age of 18 with machetes in hand.  Of course the machetes were for show but by golly it was showmanship at its best.

control by diapers

What type of control are you looking for?  Mind control is out of the question but you can control many things with a diaper.  In fact I could think of controlling the movements of the human body, other than bowel and bladder.  I’m talking about doing that straight up Jackie Chan style.

What to do for an animal with no bladder

I say you tie little Timmy’s marmoset to the tree and beat it with a shovel. HAHA… I kid, but seriously, WTH are you talking about?  You hook that bad boy up to a fur friendly colostomy bag and you love that animal to pieces.

maximum loads male enhancer pills

Now loaded male enhancer pills are a dangerous thing.  If you are looking at putting in a silver bullet and cocking back the hammer you are playing with fire my friend… with fire… ::dramatic hand gestures::

fergie stain

Yes the dirty hoo hoo dilly of Fergie is legendary throughout the land

aol layoff rumors

Yeah… we know… : \ 

picters of swiming pools

Well by cracky we got picters of grampa simmons floatin’ a poo boat in the pool.  Actually the pool is our cattle pond…


I repeat: “Dirty, dirty people”

getting ticks off of you

We know your secret… Although I heard you can burn them off with a lighter… I don’t know, I just heard that somewhere ::scratches leg and gets out lighter::

Portzer #2


About irqportz

Disclaimer:  This site is not endorsed or maintained by any company or corporate entity. The opinions herein are solely those of the authors. Topics on this blog consist of a wide variety including but not limited to Internet technology, and bladder control.

8 responses to “What our Readers Want III”

  1. Miah Montoya says :

    First of all people are dirty by nature. Lastly is an animal with no bladder really so bad? If my little muffy-kins had no bladder then it wouldnt mark my oat bran as its stinky territory let alone my peg leg and ben gay. Is that a new procedure I can get my muffy-kins on..how much does it cost…does it take long to recover..and can I keep the bladder..I want to make a flower pot out of it so muffy-kins can remember what it was like to pee on stuff. It will also serve as a warning to all my other pets to stop peeing on my peg leg…or else!

  2. ragedookie says :

    You guys are a bunch of Freakin’ cowards. I thought this blog was supposed to be AOL-related… how quickly you spineless (and quite possibly dickless too…) corporate gerbils shy away from doing anything that might anger the sacred clusterfuck of a company that is AO-fucking-hell. The only decent story you ever had was the one that advocated drenching someone in liquid feces… and then you had to apologize for the only good content you ever had.

    You guys simply epitomize the model AOL employee, bend over and take it up the ass like a good little rodent. I work there too, and all I can say is… Fuck You and Fuck AOL.

    Let me know when you Make a real site like this: http://www.fuckyouaol.com

    Grow some testicles motherfuckers… c’mon… i dare ya

  3. irqportz says :

    Wow… all this coming from a faceless, nameless, vocabularily challenged motha-trucka (as I believe you would say. And I’ll use this instead of expletives).

    If you had the real cajones you would say who you are and if you really hate AOL so much, not work for them. What a concept.

    So I guess you are the type that takes it up the keister begrudgingly, but still stick around to take it. Cause you know you like it.

    We really don’t focus on AOL so much because it is for the most part boring. So our focus has shifted. So put on your faux sad face and head set then guzzle down on more of that AOL corporate (another word for rooster) you love so much. You (word for male baby making juice) guzzling ho bag. Boo hoo!

    Portzer #2


  4. Dennis Green Stein says :

    i liek h ow irq ports have tkaen ther sitte to better orizonss. i tink wee shuold hav a dreeknin conrsert.

    yue fan,


  5. ragedookie says :

    touche… i found that to be most entertaining.

  6. Mike Oxbhigg says :

    why does ragged ookie (whatever that means) have to get all intelligent and switch languages on us? Touche..wtf is that ..like a fancy french touch or something? And why does everything he says has to be all about putting things in his anus? Is that another fancy french thing that is too good for us to enjoy? I read that site http://www.fuckyouall.com. I wasn’t impressed at all alot of things about sticking stuff in his anus..sounds like someone has some homersexual tendencies. Oh well…those silly french guys and their talking all about testicles and penises. You silly french guy!

  7. ragged ookie says :

    “Ragged Ookie?”
    That was too clever. So clever, in fact, I think I am going to adopt that handle. Thank you for the inspiration.

    You have made a most interesting observation. I do suppose that if you are not privvy to the sense of humor shared amongst myself, and some of my fellow co-workers, that at first glance the site appears to be masking some sort of deep and repressed fetish for butt-rumping and foreign object rectal insertion. Not quite what I was going for, as I’ve intended to convey the general feeling that to work for AOL is similar to being the helpless little furry victim of .

    Then I stop and think about this for a second and only two things jump out: 1) foreign object 2) rectal insertion

    Hmm. Nice point you have there.

    I suppose I’ll take what I can get. If the site is known and accepted as some sort of rectal insertion fetish site then a rectal insertion fetish site it is. However, it does not quite share the same ‘flare’ that this blog’s apparent attachment to “crotch-rot” has, but we all have to have our tag-lines. Mine will be the stupid “mother-trucker” who put up a slanderous hate site, got fired, and got his pants sued off in court. Yep, I’ve decided. That’s what I want to be when I grow up, to get sued and be penniless. A truly wonderful aspiration I know, but one must remember where I work.

    French? No. Bean Dip? Sadly… yes.

    This obsession with Crotch-rot. It does make one wonder what those portzers do in their spare time. Hmmm… Is that the reason for the lingering rank odor the call floor has?

  8. irqportz says :

    Lololol. You got us there bestial fetish boy. My advice: Spend more time looking for job, and less time whining. We gettin’ canned yo, that’s for sure. On the bright side, you will always have an opening in the non-hetero S&M club scene. Pun intended.

    Portzer #3

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