Haley Joel Osment flies to Saturn… well flies in a Saturn…

(Check this out, I’m going to do this with a little entertainment news style infused into the article. That means a mention of age and too many credits to be in one paragraph)

Haley Joel Osment of Jeff Foxworthy fame was in an accident recently. The “Bogus” (who he starred with Whoopie Goldberg in) actor was found hurt and had apparently tried to crawl out of the back of his 1995 Saturn station wagon…

That’s right a 95′ saturn station wagon…  What the heck is this guy making when he does his Kingdom Hearts voice-overs, Walker Texas Ranger disturbing sauna stuff, Sesame Street, Second Hand Lions stuff?  Maybe the wholesome looking Osment is throwing down the Benjamins for Candy LaYummy at the local interpretive pole dance bar (cause its uptown and what not).  Not to mention supporting a $5,000 a day crack habit.

WTH!!!??? A 95′ Saturn Station Wagon?

Poor poor bastard…

Portzer #2


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7 responses to “Haley Joel Osment flies to Saturn… well flies in a Saturn…”

  1. MIchael Jackson says :

    :lispy voice: Persthonally , I think he is spending money on male prostitutes by the dozthens. Well at thleast thats what I would do if I were him.

    I remember when he was 10 and starred in Home Alone. He was thsomething else. If it weren’t for all those traps he thset in his house it would’ve been easy to.. I mean the bad guys would have won, that’s so silly. That would’ve made for a bad movie.

  2. Herbert Lassiter says :

    He is beyond screwed up… dry humping asian male escorts and shaving the legs of teenage phillipino boys

  3. Michael Jackson says :

    Ok, so I notice’d i made a very embarasthing typo on the interneths here. I know the ditherence between Mccauley Culkin and Haley Osment. Mccauley has better.. i mean Mccauley is my long time friend but I do want to stress I do not have an unhealthy obthession with him.

    Clearly I was just a little buzzed and got the two mixed up hehe, child stars you know how it goes. They all wear those cute little outfits, i mean they all seem the same. Anyway, about that Philipino leg shaving thing, iths that legal there? Cause I’ve got a cessna fueled up and ready to go.

  4. raged ookie says :

    I miss David Hasselhoff 😦

  5. Mike Oxbhigg says :

    Well at least he has a car unlike that one star wars kid jake lloyd who is now the “gardner” for george lucas at his other ranch in tiajuana. He owns that kid/teenager now. He spends all his time “cultivating” young “flowers” for mr lucas’ “spa” trips so he can enjoy the local “flora and fauna”. He “gets down” there as “much as he can”. Wait I forgot what I was really talking about with all these quotes. Oh well..ZOLTAN ::does funny hand gesture::!!

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