Tia Tequila – who?

I hadn’t heard the name until seeing the “A Shot at love” reality show on some low rent TV channel when my cable went out.  I was surprised that they had a show with so many people vying for the affections of this girl.. A girl who looks like most any you’d find at your local strip club.  “What’s the catch?”,  I thought.  Oh, she’s bisexual.  That’s cool..  Hmm, this would be super controversial if it were, I dunno, 1999?  Not even the “touchy” subject of yesteryear seemed enough to justify this show.  I didn’t get it.

Out of morbid curiosity, I watched the whole episode.  16 Lesbians who looked like men, and 16 men, were competing to give her attention.  I don’t know a nice way to say this, but I think they could do much better.  Her tattoos made her look 10 years older than she is.  I was shocked to find out she was 26, I thought for sure she was pushing early/mid 30s.  Her personality is, average.  Just your typical, “I grew up in the suburbs but I’m embellishing the hood”, girl.

Anyhow, the season ends, she gets her guy (I seriously didn’t think any of the “women” had a chance.  They all looked like men – why settle for a woman who looks like a man when you can have, I dunno, a man?).  So besides that shocking discovery that she picked a dude over a dudely chick, my mind swept this out of relevance and I began thinking of more important things, such as whether to buy Bumblebee tuna or Starkist.  (Starkist won btw).

Just this last month I saw the show on again, “reruns” I think to myself.  But no, um, she’s back.. Wait, what?  Why?  The show was supposed to give her “A shot at love” and it did.  Next contestant.  But no, her 15 minutes of fame were apparently not enough.  What about the other girls that want a shot at love?  I honestly don’t care if she can or can’t find love at this point, she was given a perfectly good opportunity and either screwed it up or quit it for another shot at fame.  Yeah, we get it, you’re edgy.  You like girls and guys but will probably pick a guy again this time.  Kissing other girls for attention at bars became popular in the late 1990s, maybe it’s played out.

Sooner or later your biological clock will be ticking and you really will have to choose between a man and a life with women who look like Tom Jones. Don’t waste the chances you are given, sweet pea.

Portzer #3

Advertisements

Tags:

About irqportz

Disclaimer:  This site is not endorsed or maintained by any company or corporate entity. The opinions herein are solely those of the authors. Topics on this blog consist of a wide variety including but not limited to Internet technology, and bladder control.

3 responses to “Tia Tequila – who?”

  1. Patrick Campbell says :

    I was just watching the Tia show and i googled her because i dont know who the hell she is..i mean she is not all that attractive and there is these people fighting over her.I still dont know who she is..is she famous or something?

  2. irqportz says :

    We don’t know either. If the technology existed, my guess would be they made her out of the reanimated souls of strippers past. If the guys start complaining that she always smells like baby powder and she starts pole dancing for the lesbians it will be more clear.

  3. postgenesis says :

    yeah, i never had aclue who this girl was until i stumbled upon her on myspace; yeah she looks like a stripper, she flogging whatever issue she can to keep hold of her time in the spotlight, yadda yadda. truth is i depend on chicks like her to make an income (selling em clothes, not makin em work in clubs or da street btw). so, when alls said in done don’t grudge the unkown (pretend??) lesbo her 15mins. what was her name again?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: