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Sun gazing – new hobby for extreme idiots

Today we are going to talk about Sun gazing. This is a rare fad, that is starting to pick up some popularity (unfortunately). Some people do not understand the consequences of staring at the sun with their naked eyes, mostly out of sheer animal-like stupidity. But sometimes because they are willing to discard common sense and follow a few yahoos who say it is a good thing. So I’m going to reiterate the problems with this idea.

If you do a google search for sungazing, you will find dozens of sites proclaiming the usefulness of not only staring into the sun, but doing so for extended periods of time. It is mind boggling how people are perfectly wiling to find new and inventive ways to screw themselves for life. And this phenomenon is no different.

Before I dive into my rant, here is what you can expect as a “sun gazer.”

Here is what the grand canyon looks like, to a sun gazer:

Here is what hot lesbians kissing ,looks like to a sun gazer:

Here is what a beach vacation, looks like to a sun gazer:

As you might have noticed, there is a big black hole in the middle of each image. It’s not a mistake, that’s what life looks like when you’ve damaged your eyes by staring into the sun. It’s very simple science, the back of your eyeball called the “retina”, is responsible for interpreting light. When you stare at the sun, excessive ultraviolet light literally burns the back of your eyeball, until it is no longer sensitive to light. The result is a very large dead spot in your vision. In other words, don’t do it. You must be a dumbass to the 10th power to do something like this.

Now I will go into reasons people might do this. Some idiots stared at the sun, and told other idiots that it made them feel better. Cured their diseases, made them feel “invigorated”, and even increased their sex drive. I don’t know about you, but a big part of my sex drive comes from how people look. You can pretty much kiss that goodbye if you listen to their claims (I hate to sound “mean”, but if it saves someone’s eyesight, I’m willing to be insensitive for a bit).

What’s interesting about these sites, is that they all have disclaimers telling you “not to look into the sun.” This should not surprise you. This means that there is a very real likelihood of them getting sued for someone’s eye damage as a direct result of following their advice. They are telling you to do it, and not to do it at the same time. Doesn’t that strike you as a bit odd?

Let’s talk about sex drive, shall we? If you’re middle aged or above, and find your wang a little droopy there is a reason for this. It’s called nature. At that age you’re not supposed to be having children. You’re supposed to be either taking care of the ones you have, or enjoying retirement. It’s a natural process. Besides, if it was such a huge deal you could get hormone therapy and probably get some relief. I just hate to see people screw themselves over because some idiot gave them bad advice.

A lot of people have problems in their life, and are looking for answers, cures, etc. However adding to your problems by destroying your vision is probably not going to help. I’m not being mean to sun gazers, because in all likelihood they can’t read this.

portzer #3

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Naga Babas

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We start this post, with a picture. First, you see the Indian actress from Mumbai, India. Behind her oddly, is one of the rare Hindu known as “Naga Baba.” Naga means “naked”, and Baba means “Father” or “Uncle.” In this case, we do not know why the Naga Baba is in the photo.

Let’s get more in-depth about these so-called “nude uncles”. First, you must know, they cover themselves from head to toe in what looks to be ashes. I’m not quite sure what it is, could be anything that resembles that pasty color; flour, powdered sugar, coccaine, etc. Well, you get the point. Some have speculated that it may even be dried bodily fluids, hmmm. Secondly, they also have this fun habit of wrapping and stretching their mr. happy around a stick, just like a clown uses those flexible balloons to make colorful circus animals. Ever go to a carnival and see them make salt water taffy? Salt water taffy machine image can be seen here:

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Now try to visualize this image but first replace those metal rotators with a stick from a tree. Next, replace the taffy with the mr. happy. Hit the “on” button and watch the process begin. Well, this is exactly what they do. I do not know the benefit of doing this, and to be clear, it looks quite painful. The consensus is that they are “above” the notion of human sexuality, and only see their thingee as a “prop” for demonstrating weird stretching rituals on public streets.

For those of you who would like to view a real life, Naga Baba video, click below to view it. I must warn you in advance, this video is definitely not work safe as it depicts national geographic style nudity, and once watching it you cannot “undo” the mental imagery. However, it can be quite uplifting in a “my life could be worse” kind of way. The song is also quite catchy. If you are not afraid, this foul yet educational documentary can be seen at You tube, credit goes to DennisTheRed.

I can see into the future….

Ok, well maybe I can't and I just saw the dingles on Access Hollywood accidentally release the information on error. So anywho here is what happened. I was watching access hollywood then ::BAM:: "Sadly Elliot Yamin is going home…".

Of course I still watched the show and was happy to see that Taylor and Elliot got warm receptions from thousands on fans, not to mention both got days officially proclaimed for them. While the McPheester just got some high school kids she didn't know to cheer for her. For some reason she seems to have a hidden evil to her.

And finally what the poo is up with Paula Abdul. It looks like she's been partying with Bobby and Whitney. I'm suprised she hadn't launched herself on stage tearing off her clothes and yelling that the tangerine ape monster was coming for soul and rent money.  But that won't happen I guess because the addiction of choice seems to be alcohol since she is slurs her speech more than Joan Rivers after a double dose of botox.

SOUL PATROL!!!