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Funny People… apparently like the penis…

Eugenics, slavery and The Hills.  Yes all things that many Americans have jumped on the bandwagon of since the beginning of our wonderful nation.  Now we have a new one.  The penis in movies.

So, I just saw funny people. I would say the first 30 weiner jokes were funny… And then somewhere around the time Mr. Sandler commented on the thickness or size of his gardners shlong the 8 year old child inside me died.  Slowly.  Miserably.  Choking on the mighty cock of stale humor.  Mighty indeed.

Hailed as the most mature Apatow comedy?  WTF!? WTF indeed good sirs.

And I’m sure America loved it.  Since of course they have proven to “like the cock” as Jay would say to Silent Bob.  This statement is further proven by the box office power of Bruno.  <sarcasm> Yes presentations of naughty wang verbally and visually are funny <sarcasm>.  Look at The Hangover a tiny asian dude with what looked like a wrinkly robbins egg in a birds nest got the biggest laughs from the audience.

I think the next evolution in American comedy will be gay porn with knock knock jokes.  Because gosh darn it, male and female Americans like their wangs with overplayed jokes.

I believe this is the third sign of the apocalypse.  We here at irqportz know about signs of the apocalypse…  By the way.  It may be another year before I post again because I’ll be going to gay porn director school.  I’m gonna be rich mutha truckas!

Portzer #2


America’s Got Retardeder

Holy crap, it has been too many months since I last posted.  So today I decide to give you something profound and life changing.   Peanut fed gerbils in cryostasis.  Ok, maybe not that but…

Has anyone seen America’s Got Talent this season?  The Hoff loves everyone.  I guess they let him have a little drinky drinky so he can rival the drug induced hyper go lucky commenting of Paula Abdul.  Soon the Hoff will be swaggering onstage with nothing but a leather jacket and speedo trying to monkey hump contestents into submission.  Those who are able to repel the banana hammock offensive will move on to compete for a million dollars and treatment from the Shriner’s Hospital for chest hair burns to the thighs and backs due to repeated dry hoff humpings.

The show has degraded, which is a feat in itself, into an Arsenio Hall/Springer/Gong Show Hybrid.  I’m expecting Jerry Springer to get a spray on tan and have his index fingers surgically lengthened.  I mean what the hell has happened to the audience?  I believe before the tapings they screen people to find those with the lowest IQ give them some bad acid and have a trained circus monkey give them cue’s on what to do.  I mean a male britanny spears impersonator has made it through on a chance to obtain the final prize.  Bad thing is that he’ll go far because that monkey loves him some tranny strippers in tight fitting pvc outfits.

Sun gazing – new hobby for extreme idiots

Today we are going to talk about Sun gazing. This is a rare fad, that is starting to pick up some popularity (unfortunately). Some people do not understand the consequences of staring at the sun with their naked eyes, mostly out of sheer animal-like stupidity. But sometimes because they are willing to discard common sense and follow a few yahoos who say it is a good thing. So I’m going to reiterate the problems with this idea.

If you do a google search for sungazing, you will find dozens of sites proclaiming the usefulness of not only staring into the sun, but doing so for extended periods of time. It is mind boggling how people are perfectly wiling to find new and inventive ways to screw themselves for life. And this phenomenon is no different.

Before I dive into my rant, here is what you can expect as a “sun gazer.”

Here is what the grand canyon looks like, to a sun gazer:

Here is what hot lesbians kissing ,looks like to a sun gazer:

Here is what a beach vacation, looks like to a sun gazer:

As you might have noticed, there is a big black hole in the middle of each image. It’s not a mistake, that’s what life looks like when you’ve damaged your eyes by staring into the sun. It’s very simple science, the back of your eyeball called the “retina”, is responsible for interpreting light. When you stare at the sun, excessive ultraviolet light literally burns the back of your eyeball, until it is no longer sensitive to light. The result is a very large dead spot in your vision. In other words, don’t do it. You must be a dumbass to the 10th power to do something like this.

Now I will go into reasons people might do this. Some idiots stared at the sun, and told other idiots that it made them feel better. Cured their diseases, made them feel “invigorated”, and even increased their sex drive. I don’t know about you, but a big part of my sex drive comes from how people look. You can pretty much kiss that goodbye if you listen to their claims (I hate to sound “mean”, but if it saves someone’s eyesight, I’m willing to be insensitive for a bit).

What’s interesting about these sites, is that they all have disclaimers telling you “not to look into the sun.” This should not surprise you. This means that there is a very real likelihood of them getting sued for someone’s eye damage as a direct result of following their advice. They are telling you to do it, and not to do it at the same time. Doesn’t that strike you as a bit odd?

Let’s talk about sex drive, shall we? If you’re middle aged or above, and find your wang a little droopy there is a reason for this. It’s called nature. At that age you’re not supposed to be having children. You’re supposed to be either taking care of the ones you have, or enjoying retirement. It’s a natural process. Besides, if it was such a huge deal you could get hormone therapy and probably get some relief. I just hate to see people screw themselves over because some idiot gave them bad advice.

A lot of people have problems in their life, and are looking for answers, cures, etc. However adding to your problems by destroying your vision is probably not going to help. I’m not being mean to sun gazers, because in all likelihood they can’t read this.

portzer #3

Before Geek Squad existed, it was known as the (dreaded) “Tech Bench”

In the last few months, Best Buy stores around the nation had their Geek Squad machines and pseudo- tech employees scoured for illegal software and company policy violations. Read the full story here:



Well, before my days at AOL, I worked at Best Buy. I started off in the merchandising department but felt wasted there, and wanted to be an asset to my company. Keep in mind, I didn’t think anything was wrong with the company at the time (now they make me gag). I really wanted to work at the Tech Bench, which is now known as the Geek Squad.



I managed to grab the attention of the head Tech Bench supervisor and informed him of my computer knowledge, and finally got an interview. He liked what I had to offer and requested that I be transferred over to his area. When I reported to my first day at the Tech Bench, they told me to help out computer sales. I thought, wasn’t I supposed to work with the techs at the actual counter? The tech supervisor informed me that they wanted to see “how well” I do in sales first before working with the techs. Ok, that’s fine. A few weeks went by working with computer sales and finally I was able to work with the techs and become trained in their procedures and practices.




Only a few weeks in this (un) wonderful new position, I found out quickly that amid the fancy decor and plethora of (false) smiles, there was chaos ebbing from within. First off, there were only 3 people who really knew what they were doing, not including me. The others strayed away from the technical aspect and attempted to sell ridiculous “services” to customers. Behind the actual tech counter was a small room that contained multiple shelves for storing desktop computers and related hardware and a locked cage with laptops, digital cameras and cellular phones. Each computer back there had an order slip in which briefly described the work needed to be performed on it, mainly OS reinstalls, virus removal, or just simply in need of memory upgrades. Because these systems would be on the shelves for quite some time, customers would come in or call asking about the status of their system. The items in the locked cage, well that’s a different story.





One day, no sooner did I clock in and get behind the desk, did a customer approach me with an inquiry: customer – hi, I checked my computer in two weeks ago, and wanted to know the status. Best Buy used this application known as S.T.A.R.S., not to be confused with the special forces team from the Resident Evil series, which was actually good. This program was horribly bloated, convoluted, and lacked a logical interface. I used this so called S.T.A.R.S. to track the customer’s status and it said “awaiting work”. Me: “Ok, let me take a look in the back.” In the back room on the bottom shelf, there it was. The order slip said it needed a new CDROM drive installed, but it sure as hell wasn’t completed. Back to deliver the bad news. I informed them, “Sorry sir, it’s still waiting to be worked on.” They abruptly shouted “What??!! That’s been with you guys for two weeks, and nothing has been done??.” “Yeah, I’m sorry, we’ve been experiencing a large amount of orders lately, but I’ll see to it that it gets done in the next day”, I replied. The locked cage was a foul mess of grand proportions. Instead of having major repairs done on-site, or at least in the same city, these items were shipped way south of our location. Most of the time, these items just sat in the cage, hanging around collecting dust and whatnot. Same scenarios as above occurred… Customer – “Hi, I was told that my laptop had a defective motherboard, and that it would need to be replaced, but it’s been two weeks so far and I haven’t heard anything yet.” Me – “Ok, let me go find out the status”. I checked in the S.T.A.R.S. program for the laptop’s status, it said “awaiting transit”. To get a second opinion, I went to the back to see it with my own eyes. I had a manager unlock the cage, and way in the back was the laptop with a tag attached. The information on it indicated that it was to be sent out to the service center for a motherboard replacement, and was dated over 2 weeks back. I delivered the unfortunate news to the customer, in which a great rage ensued, followed by colorful language. I notified the main tech supervisor of the situation and he took care of it, along with a severely disgruntled customer. I doubt they will be buying an extended service plan from Best Buy ever again.


That day, there were two other techs on duty, and I asked them about having one person stay in the back and complete some much needed labor by getting items labeled properly and prepared for a parcel pickup, etc. They told me that “the supervisor wants everyone to be at the front and to help sell services”. What kind of illogical nonsense is that?. If people don’t get their computers and equipment back in a timely fashion, then the name becomes blackened and no one will bring their computers in for any kind of service, not to mention lost business. There was countless times that upon clocking in for my shift, there was a line of people at the tech bench, waiting to check in their equipment, and using that forsaken S.T.A.R.S program was so awfully slow to operate, even for the tenured techs. A week went by, and I learned how their horrible business model works.




In order for Best Buy to make huge profits, they need to sell “services”. These services include packages known as “system customizations” and “anti-virus install” among others. I’m not sure if the Geek Squad still utilizes these names or services, but this is what I had to face. A system customization involves launching the system configuration utility, disabling all the startup items, then rebooting the system. Wow, all this for just $19.95!!! What the heck?. Just as bad as that was the horrid antivirus install. It involved installing Norton antivirus or Norton internet security (double gag) and then installing the newest updates/definitions. All this for just $24.95!! Usually customers who just purchased a new PC would get suckered into this. The sales people or tech would tell them, “Oh, if you don’t get this now, this poor computer will be destroyed by plague carrying computer viruses”. What a scam.






Other services we provided weren’t too bad like a data backup, or OS re-installs, those were fine, however the software used wasn’t. Someone had recently wiped off the hard drive on our test/backup system, and was in the process of reinstalling the standard software. I needed to back up some files for a customer but since the backup computer wasn’t ready yet, the supervisor hands me a CDR with the words written, “Nero Burning ROM”. He told me to go ahead and install that on the members computer to help backup all their files. I examined the folders once I inserted the disk, there was the main install executable for Nero along with a serial key generator. What the hell, so I’m installing pirated software onto a customer’s computer?? That’s bad business practice, highly unethical, illegal too. I just followed through with the backup and didn’t say anything. Later on, I found the CD binder where they kept the software, in it was countless CDRs with multiple copies of Windows 98, Me, 2000, XP. There was also a disk containing a phony copy of Norton antivirus, McAfee antivirus, Nero, Win DVD, among others. The sad thing was, I never saw any software discs with the actual factory label; they were always on CDR’s. I wondered if the head store manager(s) knew of this. Maybe, maybe not.



The Best Buy service plans depend on factors like duration (in years) and price. The “Performance Service Plan” ranged from $250-$300 and varied from 2-3 years. It stated, in these shortened terms, “If the item experiences defects with functionality, etc, we will replace that affected area without any charge, including all labor.” This means like a CDROM drive that fails would be replaced for free if it occurred during the duration of the warranty service plan. Now thats all fine and dandy, but does not include software problems, which is understandable. No one wants to deal with operating system glitches, and the problems and combinations of problems are nearly infinite. The bad thing is, when a particular component failed such as a motherboard, we didn’t keep those on hand, so once again, it had to be shipped far south for a replacement. The only thing we were capable of replacing was DVD/CDROM drives. This customer brought in their desktop computer which had a failed DVDROM unit and was within our performance plan. I happen to be the one who was going to be replacing the drive. The tech supervisor led me to the shelf and grabbed some major generic off brand, which was very low in price. “Use this one”, he said. There happened to be a matching brand and model number of the original broken drive on the shelf as well, I pointed this out to the tech supervisor, but he said, “I said use this one”. I was stunned.




Another instance of poor practice occurred at the beginning of my shift. A fellow tech was laughing at the fact that the customer’s computer contained pornographic material. “Ha hah ah aha hh ah ah ah, this guy checked his computer in for spyware removal and I just found this folder full of porn pictures and videos!!!” I sarcastically replied, “Wow, well I guess that’s where the root of the issue is.” He smiled greatly, “Yes it is”. He continued to browse through various folders on the hard drive, hoping to find more, probably for his own amusement. Keep in mind that all techs, excluding me, had USB flash drives handy at all times (I never bothered buying a flash drive at the time), and his was indeed plugged into the customer’s computer. I pretended to ignore what I just witnessed and helped out some customers at the main desk.


On a Friday night during the last 3 hours, the tech supervisor approaches me with a sheet of paper containing columns of numbers. Him: “Ok, this is where we’re at as far as services are concerned, I need you to sell some asap”. He pointed to a lonely $24.95 on the sheet. Me: “Ok, I’ll see what I can do”. Him: “I hope so, we really need this”. His tone was demanding and unprofessional. Sadly, this wasn’t the only time I had to deal with the “service profits” sheet I’d grown to love. At random times during my shift, other sales managers would approach me and “inform” me of the amount of services being sold. Manager: “this is where we’re at, this is where we need to be”. I began to think in my monologue, “No, this is where YOU want to be, since your bonuses come from a chunk of the profits made”. I made friends with a few people in various departments (ones who were there long before me), who shared the same ideas as me. We worked hard to sell additional “services” and such, made the company a profits along with bonuses for the sales managers, and yet we didn’t get anything in return. No commission. No goals. It wasn’t as if, ‘if you sell this amount in this amount of time, we’ll give you a raise, or enter a drawing to get a TV, or even a silly pizza party….”, nope, we got nothing. This further progressed my hatred for the company, but it wasn’t the killing blow.



The holiday season was upon us, as was the hiring of seasonal people for all departments. Among the few they hired for tech was someone I went to high school with and known for 4 years. After the 2nd week, he began to say, “Man, what is up with this place?? This job is a joke.” He began to see how the tech area operated, it’s poor procedures, scams, and severe neglect among other things. Out of conversation, he blatantly told me how much he was making per hour. I found that peculiar since he was making $3 more an hour than me, in fact, I was making the same amount since my hire date. I approached the tech supervisor that day and said “Why is it that the seasonal people, whom are temporary and only been working here for two weeks make more money per hour than me? We all do the same amount of work, we’re all with the tech bench.” His eyes were cold and dark. He swiftly responded, “Well, you’re actually computer sales helping out the techs, thats what I hired you here for.” I responded out of partial shock, “Oh, ok, sure”. What a filthy lie. At this point, I no longer wanted to help out the company in any such way. It’s sad that I actually sold a few service plans for $250 and $300 along with “system customization services” for the company and all I received was deceit. So, I perform “tech” work, sell their services, make the company huge profits and all I got was the wool pulled over my eyes. It was like the company “sheep” had just stuffed his ass in my face. This was the turning point of my “career” with Best Buy. No more Mr. nice tech.




It was time for me to give back to the community, and let Best Buy taste my vengeance. I changed from pitching services to pitching the meaning of their uselessness . I still needed to keep my job for at least a month so I still pitched the services when management was around, or least pretended to, but once I had the customer isolated, I told them, “Don’t buy the service plan, it’s a waste of money.” Customer (bewildered by what I said) “Umm, why??!” I replied “Because it’s a scam and a pure profit for them.” I could see that the customer was trying to disbelieve the fact that I was a genuine employee. “Look, this is a great computer, and I’m sure it will give you plenty of enjoyment, but you don’t need the service plan. Chances are, if anything fails, its still going to be 3-4 years from now, seriously. The chances of a hardware component failing is so slim, it’s best to save your $250.” The customer felt relieved that I had told them the truth, and purchased the computer (minus the useless service plan) and thanked me once again before leaving. I used this same scenario on numerous occasions. Distributor of pain, your loss becomes my gain. I thrived at the fact that the company was losing out on a lot of profits, it made me tickled yellow. You lie to me, I’m going to tell a reverse lie to your customers. Simple as that. There was a small handful of sales folks in computers, both permanent and seasonal, who also agreed that the company was festering with ill doings. When the customer attendance was low, we would get together and discuss how to strike back. They were unhappy with what was occurring, regardless of being permanent or temporary. I gave pointers on how to help turn down any additional services and to minimize store profits.

They trained me how to operate the register, a few weeks back, which I hated. I’ve handled cash in my past jobs, and I resent it like no other. On a Friday evening, 1 week before Christmas, I pulled the ultimate anti-scam. A customer had purchased a new PC, printer, and it’s required accessory cables and extra ink. I happen to be on register for the time being and had the opportunity to do my worst. The head tech supervisor was also next to my register, going over some paperwork. I rang up all the items, the customer paid, then was gone. Immediately afterwards, tech supervisor says, “There was something very wrong that you just did!” Me: “Well, I don’t think I left anything out that was in his cart” Tech boss: “No! You failed to ask him so many questions, oh my God” You didn’t ask him about antivirus, system customization, performance service plan, nothing!” (at this point he seemed very upset, as if his vehicle was stolen or something). Tech boss: “Because of that, we have just lost out on a few hundred dollars!” On the outside, I looked concerned but inside I was like a little kid at a carnival full of glee. The tech boss grabbed another computer sales person to take my place at the register, then said “come with me”. He led me to the Loss Prevention room and said “have a seat”. Haha, this is gonna be good, I thought. He left and momentarily came back with the main supervisor of computer sales. They sat down, tech boss began to tell computer boss about what I did, while I just looked at them. They asked me what was wrong, I told them I was having major family problems (which was a downright lie) and that I couldn’t get it off my mind. Tech boss gave me the spiel about “leaving family issues at home” and “coming to work with a positive attitude with the intent to sell”. The computer sales supervisor was far more professional about it when he threw in his input. After our little conference was over, I returned to the floor. I notified the people in our little group about what had happened, it made their night for sure, mine too.

One particular night, the tech supervisor was acting inappropriate with a poor attitude, most likely due to sales being low. As I was retrieving a finished computer in the back, he came slithering in and said, “I need you in computers, and sell a lot, we need services badly.” His tone was cold and unprofessional. I was having a relaxing evening so far, I actually got to reinstall an OS and some new memory on another machine. Well, this irritated me greatly, so I set out to do my worst. A middle-aged couple approached me and informed me that they were looking for an entirely new system. I assisted them in finding the best unit that met their needs. We were just about settled when the tech supervisor, whom was frantically attempting to talk to every customer in an attempt to sell useless services, managed to pull the husband away while his wife was still talking to me about the new computer. I told her how useless and wasteful the service plan was. “No matter how hard that guy persuades your husband to purchase the service plan, tell him NO!” She agreed and once the tech boss left to spread his poison to another customer, her husband came back to our area. He attempted to discuss the service plan with his wife when she nicely cut him off and said “No honey, we really don’t need it, I just had a good talk with this nice salesperson and says that we really don’t need it.” He agreed and that was that.


Me: (insert high score here) Best Buy: big fat zero.



Christmas and New Years came and went, and the new year was upon us. I was planning on working there for a few more weeks, then get the hell out. They began to cut a lot of people’s hours including myself; you would clock in, then 10 minutes later the supervisor would say “we didn’t make enough in services today so we have to send you home”. Lovely. By this time, I was no longer in the tech area at all, simply in the computer department, which was much better since I didn’t have to work with that horrible tech supervisor. Customers would come in, inquiring about our computers, and I just told them to buy from some other store. They asked, “Is Dell good?”. Me: “Oh yes, the best, here’s their number give them a call and they can custom create a system for you that suits your needs.” Even though I’m not fond of any type of manufactured system, I said anything just to prevent them from buying a system at the store. Some of the highest profits were from selling USB cables and printer cartridges. When customers came in, looking for these items, I would walk them over to that particular isle and show them the variety. “Oh my, these prices are so high, but I really need one.” I quickly replied, “I agree with you 100%. You can purchase one of these for several dollars less at the local Target or K-Mart.” They thanked me and left the store. I would share these stories of victory with the others who joined the resistance, Best Buy rebels if you will. They would initiate similar acts like me, but not nearly as bad. They would sell someone a computer, but purposely fail to pitch any of the services. I finally quit in February, and that was the end of my so-called tech career at Best Buy. Amen.


Well, I hope you took the time to read this genuine personal account about the horrors of Best Buy. It seems like all corporations have ill intentions of making money, and have poor management running the joint. For everyone’s sake, I hope they cleaned up their act immensely. Perhaps when the Geek Squad was created, they changed policies, ethics, and replaced some horrid workers. My guess is that they just changed their image as far as the public is concerned, sadly. It’s been said that evil never dies, and old (bad) habits die hard.









Well it’s black Tuesday all over again.

And it’s no surprise. Someone leaked that layoffs would be happening (today) weeks ago. AOL must be scratching their heads going “Who told?” Well we don’t know either. But we find it quite amusing.

Anyway, it should be called Happy Tuesday. Because people will just begin to see how much more life has to offer than a thankless, unrewarding job. A job that is one level above fast food, yet promised so much more.

To other “techs” in pseudo “technical” positions around the country. Think about this: If you have a hard time describing your job on a resume, that’s because your job is a joke. Real positions are well defined and easy to explain. If you have to think (like I did) and start listing out things you do instead of giving the name of a profession; your resume will not benefit from this job. Get out now.

Here’s what you can do:  Go to school.

No matter how much it costs, or how much effort it takes.  If you can afford it do it.  At least get concrete certifications if you can’t make it to college. Though certifications are only as good as how up to date they are. Degrees are forever, keep that in mind. Getting an education is about the only reliable way to prevent yourself from being used as cheap labor. There are an unlimited amount of people out there that can fill a tech job. There aren’t an unlimited amount of them with degrees.

Anyway, I wish all those that were laid off well. I really do. Hopefully all will find more rewarding prospects in the future. It’s been real.

– Irqportzter #3

Been a while…

Now this sucks… we  haven’t posted in the longest of times.  The celebrities of the world are imploding on their dingleness.  Why do these people get worshipped?  After all they are just people.  They have all made lucky breaks and were just like you and I at one time. 

Heaven knows that Portzer #1 could be on some fetish site making a cool 2 mil a year in his parents basement web casting his fetish stuff dealing with poo, water slides and Richard Grieco posters.  But that is all based on luck.  We all possess wonderful abilities such as these to entertain the world. 

I will sexy dance like Richard Simmons to Yanni music if it means I will be able to enjoy a life of expensive cars and fine cheeses.  And that is probably the amount of intelligence I would have to display in order to be the next fixation of the general public. 

Sadly America wants to know what the likes of Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and (insert combined names here. e.g. Bennifer, TomKat, etc.) are doing. 

In order for us to focus on things that matter I guess Nelson Mandela would have to get a rippin’ six pack and wear a speedo.  Stephen Hawking would have to go on a drinking binge, ram a bus stop and call the good samaritan picking him up sizzle chest.  Although it might be interesting.

It seems the majority of America is more apt to believe what is told to us than what we discover for ourselves.  So we can probably stop the whole retarded celebrity thing if we ignore it.  But hey, I’m talking about that stuff now anywho.  But I’m doing it more to make fun of the hoopla around it than to consume that shizzle like Pete Doherty with a syringe of heroin (celeb reference… drat…).

But I guess I’m getting all caught up in what matters rather than taking the time to smell the Rosie O’s big toxic talk show vaginga (va-jing-ga).

I almost made sense…  I think…

Portzer #2


Yes sah. We got canned here at AOL, as predicted. Our Tucson site will be closing in December 16th and along with it our jobs. We get one month severance package (yay). I only wish they would start the severance early so I could chill while finding another job.

In any case here is how the day went. On Wednesday, October 18th I went into work and I saw the Channel 13 news van. I figured, either someone got shot, or we’re getting laid off. It was that simple. And I was correct on the second account. I walked in and immediately was greeted by the Workforce management person. They had us go into a room where we listened to a Human Resources person give a spiel about why our site was getting shutdown, and what our benefits were. Well we know this was going to happen (refer to this article).

It was funny, because I was already going to jump the second I got another job offer, so this did not have the “scary” effect they supposed it would have on me. I do however, feel sorry for those who were counting on this job as it will no doubt affect them unless they can get employment quickly.

In any case, I left with a bottled water and a threat not to talk to the media or we risk losing our severance package. (Good luck figuring out who I am). Obviously that went over well. I don’t know why they didn’t want us talking to the media, maybe the media would paint them in a bad light because they are keeping India call centers open. But people should’ve known that was going to happen the second the India callcenter’s opened.

They don’t “augment” workforces with India, they replace them. And it’s so common now no one will make a big fuss when it happens. Any remaining employees working for Dell or any other big company that outsources, your jobs are in jeopardy whether your company admits it or not. I suggest education and training, and looking for a more reliable position. I will not give away my plans as I feel it may be used to identify me, but needless to say I will not be in bad shape.

For those who got canned, we salute you!

portzer #3