Eugenics, slavery and The Hills. Yes all things that many Americans have jumped on the bandwagon of since the beginning of our wonderful nation. Now we have a new one. The penis in movies.
So, I just saw funny people. I would say the first 30 weiner jokes were funny… And then somewhere around the time Mr. Sandler commented on the thickness or size of his gardners shlong the 8 year old child inside me died. Slowly. Miserably. Choking on the mighty cock of stale humor. Mighty indeed.
Hailed as the most mature Apatow comedy? WTF!? WTF indeed good sirs.
And I’m sure America loved it. Since of course they have proven to “like the cock” as Jay would say to Silent Bob. This statement is further proven by the box office power of Bruno. <sarcasm> Yes presentations of naughty wang verbally and visually are funny <sarcasm>. Look at The Hangover a tiny asian dude with what looked like a wrinkly robbins egg in a birds nest got the biggest laughs from the audience.
I think the next evolution in American comedy will be gay porn with knock knock jokes. Because gosh darn it, male and female Americans like their wangs with overplayed jokes.
I believe this is the third sign of the apocalypse. We here at irqportz know about signs of the apocalypse… By the way. It may be another year before I post again because I’ll be going to gay porn director school. I’m gonna be rich mutha truckas!
Indeed, the pain you are about to experience is the work of none other than portzer #2. In an email sent to me on April 4th, 2007, he directs my attention to new content for the blog. And what he showed me was this monstrosity. I cannot deny him his foul content wishes, because it would hamper creativity. Censorship is a slippery slope. Thus, behold, from the bowels of hades and portzer #2’s own imagination:
Nake fat guy dancing
missle song eat fish
WTF!? WTF are you on man…
As you probably have sadly learned they turned Clark Kent into teh ghey…
roseanne barr nude
degenerate… damn dirty degenerate…
peeing in public pools
Be carefull of not doing this in some pools due to the special dye they put in it to detect when one has evacuated their bladder off all urine. You could probably get away with this act in most public pools and some school ones but you never know. It is like Russian roulette. Fire off a round if you dare. But if you are found out say you are quite hygenic and the red stuff is really from that chewable dye tablet that detects plaque on your teeth.
INTRODUCTION TO IRQ
I’m portzer #2 and… nm you probably wanted to know about real irq’s. Well I find them boring so I won’t bother. But the last time I seriously had to configure an IRQ was when I played Sam and Max hit the Road in DOS.
I want a deeper voice
Well I have thought about this since there have been many searches on this issue being directed to our site. Either hit puberty or… Here’s my theory. A man’s voice becomes higher when he is kicked in the crotch. What if it was well… taken care of? I say try pawing it like a little kitten and see if that helps. Then we will all laugh at you because you played with yourself and we tricked you into doing so.
I’m out foo’s
I like Will Ferrell, I think he is funny but… for the love of Pete, keep the pants on. I don’t need to see him in thongs, speedos or in anymore of that Conan O’Brien leprechaun debauchery. His naughty bits packed into the smallest area possible is not my idea of comedy.
So now I call to you people. To join me in curbing this lewd behavior. Will Ferrel’s scrunched package in dirty chonies is not funny!
Lets all raise money so children, grandmothers and men around the world do not see such tainted visions again. His crotch will haunt your dreams.
Here is what I propose….
- Raise awareness through our banner campaign
- Raise money
- Hire engineers and fashion designers
- Fabricate a pair of baggy pants that cannot be removed
So please add the following banner to your page and lets get the man some pants to wear
Copy the following code to add to your site
This is the ongoing post that answers the question, “What do our readers want and how can we help them to find it?” This information is taken directly from phrases of what people use to search our site.
Male crotch pics
Dirty dirty people….
muay + thai + money
You came to the right place my friends. As you know two of us have fought for money growing up. In fact that is how portzer #1 and I met. On the mean streets of Philly at the age of 18 with machetes in hand. Of course the machetes were for show but by golly it was showmanship at its best.
control by diapers
What type of control are you looking for? Mind control is out of the question but you can control many things with a diaper. In fact I could think of controlling the movements of the human body, other than bowel and bladder. I’m talking about doing that straight up Jackie Chan style.
What to do for an animal with no bladder
I say you tie little Timmy’s marmoset to the tree and beat it with a shovel. HAHA… I kid, but seriously, WTH are you talking about? You hook that bad boy up to a fur friendly colostomy bag and you love that animal to pieces.
maximum loads male enhancer pills
Now loaded male enhancer pills are a dangerous thing. If you are looking at putting in a silver bullet and cocking back the hammer you are playing with fire my friend… with fire… ::dramatic hand gestures::
Yes the dirty hoo hoo dilly of Fergie is legendary throughout the land
aol layoff rumors
Yeah… we know… : \
picters of swiming pools
Well by cracky we got picters of grampa simmons floatin’ a poo boat in the pool. Actually the pool is our cattle pond…
ROSIE O’DONNELL HIGH SCHOOL PICTURE
I repeat: “Dirty, dirty people”
getting ticks off of you
We know your secret… Although I heard you can burn them off with a lighter… I don’t know, I just heard that somewhere ::scratches leg and gets out lighter::
Rush Limbaugh returned from the Dominican Republic but was detained by customs agents. Apparently he had a bottle of viagra not prescribed to him but to his doctor for “anonymity”.
Sure buddy. We all know you were going down south for cheap dirty loving and the only thing you could do to facilitate it was to swipe pills from your doctor. Rush is only in the name and not in the genetaliation which directly results in flacidulation. (Ok, not words but strangely it has meaning).
Why people still listen to this man confounds me. I am a conservative person believe it or not but to listen to someone who is popping pain killers, viagra, and hostess twinkies like they are milk duds is not really someone I look to for advice.
Eh, I was bored…