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Nancy Grace – attention whore of the month award

Nancy

I would like to personally nominate Nancy Grace for the reward of filling the airwaves with the most useless, drivel about a 10 year old case that no one cares about anymore. On Labor day (August 28th), I had the misfortune of going to a barbeque where the people had this CNN special playing aobut the JonBenet Ramsey case. I cannot count the number of times she repeated the same information, over and over in a mind-numbing southern drone. (Removed comment about throwing hamburgers at people with southern accents).

At the time I began to wonder, why does this 10 year old case matter? What is so much more special about a rich, blonde “beauty pageant contestant” getting killed than anyone else? I don’t get it. It’s been 10 years, can we drop it please? This also brings to mind the Natalie Holloway case, another rich, blonde. What’s the deal with the blondes?

The thing that annoyed me most about Nancy, is she kept going into a slow dramatic voice, and repeating the same grisly details about the murder over and over, as if its something new. I’m sorry, but re-reading a 10 year old police report is not news. Not only that, she said that sicko Karr guy was guilty of doing the crime without any evidence. Authorities said that he completely made it up. And why do you think he made it up? I bet she have never been on a fecal stained prison water slide in Thailand.

In anycase, CNN must’ve hired this lady to keep up with FOX new’s “it’s not news but we’re talking about it anyway” stories. It has the substance of cotton candy, you take a bite and it it melts into nothing. This lady needs to be on a soap opera, not a news show. That anguished, cheesy accent will come in quite handy.

*** Update: ***

It appears Nancy Grace has struck again. This time she tried to squeeze some tears and strife out of a completely unwilling Elizabeth Smart. Ms. Smart was clearly moving on with her life and talking about a victims bill or some such, when Mrs. Grace switched to her sappy sob voice and dove headfirst into unnecessary details about Elizabeth’s captivity. Elizabeth was furious. See for yourself!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5x8ARIxg51I

Portzer #3

Who woulda thought..Lance Bass…gay? Surely you jest.

So In recent news Lance Bass revealed that he’s gay. So how is that news? From the first time this portzer (#5) saw these guys he called it by telling his friends when *NSYNC premiered “Dude hes totally ghey”. Now he’s coming out and revealing everything in a tell all article. I guess he decided to follow in JT’s footsteps about his private life showing he isn’t so squeaky clean after all (He who squeaks the loudest gets the lube). We are all anxiously waiting for the quotes about why Bass decided to come out now to be similar to.. “I figured since Justin was exposing his private life about his doing drugs and stuff..and I guess I want to do the same, but instead of doing drugs..it’s guys.” Brings new meaning to “PUFF PUFF PASS to the left.  Then he’ll flash his quirky I-could-be-a-child-molester-but-I’m-a-pop-star smile and we’ll feel sorry as a society for oppressing him and not being able to flaunt his sexuality to all those 10-12 year olds. Way to make me feel bad Lance! According to him he felt that telling anyone would “overpower” everything. Overpower the most powerful boy band this planet has seen? Riiiiggghhhhhttt. Well if they ever go on tour they will have a bigger fanbase than before. One would have to wonder how it made a gay man feel to have to sing songs about “Be my girlfriend baby”, “Baby, would you be my baby, Baby?”, and “Girl, I want to do you as my girlfriend, baby, all night girl, baby” when he really wanted to sing songs like “I want you in my back”, “Tie me up, punch me and tell me you love me”, and “Young and tender tubesteak”. Well good for you Lance in taking some time to think about how to come out. “I wanted to think about it because I knew I had 4 guys.. in my hands”..he was talking about their careers. Well if you ever decide to change teams you have the millions of barely legal girls that still think you’re a hunk and we like you too. But not in that way. Hey maybe the other guys from *NSYNC can be gay too..it would definately help their careers..joe fat one , that one guy chris (who we think is gay also) and JC Shazam. Does this new found sexuality mean that you’re not going to try to work your way back into the black void…er..of space? Well We here at the IRQ wish you the bestest of the gay. Peace out homo..er..homie.-Portzer #5