Ever since a kid I’ve enjoyed the street fighter series, starting with Street fighter I. I later moved onto Street fighter II and found it to be somewhat easier to beat, but much more fun vs human opponents. After that I took a hiatus until the late 90s when all those “alpha” streetfighters showed up. I’ve always enjoyed them, and always have been good at them. Don’t get me wrong, the game can be frustrating, but as far as games in the big picture go, it’s not the hardest thing out there.
So I was surprised to read many blogs and reviews about Street Fighter IV, saying it was “too hard to beat”, even on “Easy setting.” Hmm, I thought. I eventually got around to getting the game mid March. I played it, and after about an hour was fully warmed up. I played through the entire game on “medium-hard” (second hardest), completely devastating the characters except for Blanka, he was the only guy who gave me trouble. After about 5 tries with him I overcame him. I play Ryu by the way.
All the characters after Blanka were a complete slaughter fest. Even the last boss fell during my first try, beating him 2 out of 3 rounds. He was cheap, sure. But I would expect that from a last boss.. Anyway, I thought back to the blogs. All the whining about the game made me laugh, “The game is too hard, all the computer does is use super moves.” This game was very easy to beat, while using trivial attacks. Here’s a tip: super moves are a distraction for shallow gamers whose job it is to make real gamers look good. It has always been more effective to use regular punches and kicks to down an opponent than to rely on graphical ooh and ahh effects. I didn’t even use the super deluxe thing that builds up energy, not even once. I didn’t know how, because at that time I beat it I hadn’t even read the manual yet.
I won’t tell you my secrets, but they involve a lot of punching and kicking. “The game is too hard.” We’ve got a new generation of gamers out there, and they suck. Here’s a challenge, try Street Fighter I on an emulator, if you dare. I have played it, it has to be the most inconsistent game ever. Sometimes your hits land, sometimes they don’t. There doesn’t appear to be any rhyme or reason to it. Sometimes I will play the emulator through to the end in 10 minutes, other times I will flail hopelessly against the first two opponents until I give up. Looking back I know why I dumped so many quarters into that game back in the day. It was very unpredictable, and very unforgiving. Don’t get me wrong, when I won it it was a well deserved win. You could never let your guard down in that game. If you can get over the primitive graphics, you will realize that you have got it easy with SF IV.
We’ve all seen Dateline NBC’s “To Catch a predator”, it seems a bit over the top at times. The real reason people watch, is not because they want to see “justice”, but because we all have a morbid curiosity of watching other people’s lives fall apart. We tell ourselves, “I just want to see those bastards get what they deserve.” In reality, you are fascinated by seeing people’s lives destroyed.
With that out of the way… Rumor has it that Dateline NBC news will offer the suspects an alternative.
Below you see Dateline’s newest employee, along with their underage decoy.
Evidently, this guy here will enter the room after the suspects make contact. Chris Hansen will then then read the chat log, containing the fantasies of the suspect. The kicker is, the big guy above will be acting out the fantasies on the male suspects. It will be an odd change of roles, to be sure. Chris Hansen will hang out to ask them to describe in detail if the sex acts measured up to their expectations.
Indeed, the pain you are about to experience is the work of none other than portzer #2. In an email sent to me on April 4th, 2007, he directs my attention to new content for the blog. And what he showed me was this monstrosity. I cannot deny him his foul content wishes, because it would hamper creativity. Censorship is a slippery slope. Thus, behold, from the bowels of hades and portzer #2’s own imagination:
Nake fat guy dancing
I remember listening to Mary J. Blige when I was in highschool, and thinking she was hot on her music videos. This would still be the case, some 12 years later. However, for some reason, MJB has apparently undergone some plastic surgery (like many women in the public eye do) and wasted what I felt were good looks.
Older women can be beautiful. I can think of several examples, like say Vanessa Williams. That woman could be 50 and I would still find her hot. The reason? She ages gracefully, and it looks natural. My advice is to stop while you still can. Plastic surgery eventually leads to looking like Michael Jackson, he is living proof why it is bad. If anyone gets enough of it, they will look like he does, as well.
Plastic surgery kills, good looks.
This is the ongoing post that answers the question, “What do our readers want and how can we help them to find it?” This information is taken directly from phrases of what people use to search our site.
Male crotch pics
Dirty dirty people….
muay + thai + money
You came to the right place my friends. As you know two of us have fought for money growing up. In fact that is how portzer #1 and I met. On the mean streets of Philly at the age of 18 with machetes in hand. Of course the machetes were for show but by golly it was showmanship at its best.
control by diapers
What type of control are you looking for? Mind control is out of the question but you can control many things with a diaper. In fact I could think of controlling the movements of the human body, other than bowel and bladder. I’m talking about doing that straight up Jackie Chan style.
What to do for an animal with no bladder
I say you tie little Timmy’s marmoset to the tree and beat it with a shovel. HAHA… I kid, but seriously, WTH are you talking about? You hook that bad boy up to a fur friendly colostomy bag and you love that animal to pieces.
maximum loads male enhancer pills
Now loaded male enhancer pills are a dangerous thing. If you are looking at putting in a silver bullet and cocking back the hammer you are playing with fire my friend… with fire… ::dramatic hand gestures::
Yes the dirty hoo hoo dilly of Fergie is legendary throughout the land
aol layoff rumors
Yeah… we know… : \
picters of swiming pools
Well by cracky we got picters of grampa simmons floatin’ a poo boat in the pool. Actually the pool is our cattle pond…
ROSIE O’DONNELL HIGH SCHOOL PICTURE
I repeat: “Dirty, dirty people”
getting ticks off of you
We know your secret… Although I heard you can burn them off with a lighter… I don’t know, I just heard that somewhere ::scratches leg and gets out lighter::
Naomi Campbell – taking lessons from Ike Turner, is beating the crap out of her subordinates. It is not clear what have driven her to violence, but a combination of getting older, a face that looks like it is covered in parafin wax, and crack cocaine are likely culprits.
In 2003, Naomi threw a cell phone at her victim, an assistant, while throwing a temper tantrum. It became clear that Naomi loves using phones as weapons. In 2006 she upped the anti by apparently wielding a cell phone and dropping bombs on her replacement assistant’s dome. This latest assistant needed four stitches to the cranium after they cleaned her up.
What causes cell phone rage? As mentioned Naomi has had a lot of plastic surgery. Her face looks like it has been preserved by aliens, with a 1,000 year shelf life. Most people just get old, Naomi gets even, with her face. Now this kind of mentality can lead to random violence, like when she looks in the mirror and notices what looks like a piece of cellophane peeling off of her cheek. That type of occurence does not promote inner peace.
What’s next for Naomi? I would recommend a dual-wield setup with a Motorola in the main hand and a Kyocera in the weak hand for maximum damage. Motorola’s are heavier and have more stopping power. While Kyocera’s allow for light and quick attacks that send the target fleeing in terror. As for durability of the phones, that is not certain as it was not their design to be wielded as a weapon.
There are pioneers for everything, for Naomi campbell, her claim to fame will be cell phone rage.