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AOL stole my soul for 2 months severance and a frisbee

I sit here, now in my 4th, and almost fifth month of unemployment wondering where the hell I went wrong.  I wake up, job search and find that the last six years of my life were wasted on taking a road to nowhere with a hobo named Jarvis that would open my eyes to new levels of craptacularism.  Jarvis being AOL that is…

You see, Jarvis taught me how to be cynical and conniving.  It told me to take a hammer to Jiminy Crickets head if he dared chirp at me.  For where I was there was no need for hope.  All I needed were the brains of a chimp and the ability to accept what I was doing wouldn’t help the customer.  For five years I thought, “Hey they can’t be that dumb.” or ,”They’ll listen this time.”

So here I am before you, at home, in my chonies and looking to gain my humanity back.  Never again will I let a corporation take away pieces of me… well not unless they pay much better and give me some skills and experience I can take somewhere else…  Ugh, if I do that then I’ll have to say how much I’ve wasted trying to be successful in the eyes of those around me.  But at least I’ll be doing it from a leather chair in silk boxers.

 Portzer #2

Looking for a better life

::sniff:: ::sniff:: and crap like that…

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Mary J. Blige, and why you should not get plastic surgery

I remember listening to Mary J. Blige when I was in highschool, and thinking she was hot on her music videos. This would still be the case, some 12 years later. However, for some reason, MJB has apparently undergone some plastic surgery (like many women in the public eye do) and wasted what I felt were good looks.

Older women can be beautiful. I can think of several examples, like say Vanessa Williams. That woman could be 50 and I would still find her hot. The reason? She ages gracefully, and it looks natural.  My advice is to stop while you still can.  Plastic surgery eventually leads to looking like Michael Jackson, he is living proof why it is bad.  If anyone gets enough of it, they will look like he does, as well.

Plastic surgery kills, good looks.
portzer #3