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What our Readers Want V: A New Hope

missle song eat fish

WTF!? WTF are you on man… 

teh cw

As you probably have sadly learned they turned Clark Kent into teh ghey…

roseanne barr nude

degenerate… damn dirty degenerate…

peeing in public pools

Be carefull of not doing this in some pools due to the special dye they put in it to detect when one has evacuated their bladder off all urine.  You could probably get away with this act in most public pools and some school ones but you never know.  It is like Russian roulette.  Fire off a round if you dare.  But if you are found out say you are quite hygenic and the red stuff is really from that chewable dye tablet that detects plaque on your teeth.

INTRODUCTION TO IRQ

I’m portzer #2 and… nm you probably wanted to know about real irq’s.  Well I find them boring so I won’t bother.  But the last time I seriously had to configure an IRQ was when I played Sam and Max hit the Road in DOS.

I want a deeper voice

Well I have thought about this since there have been many searches on this issue being directed to our site.  Either hit puberty or… Here’s my theory.  A man’s voice becomes higher when he is kicked in the crotch.  What if it was well… taken care of?  I say try pawing it like a little kitten and see if that helps.  Then we will all laugh at you because you played with yourself and we tricked you into doing so.

 I’m out foo’s

Portzer #2

From Ditzy to Drunk she gets out of jail by shaking her non-existent badunkadunk

Let me start with… THAT WAS THE LONGEST TITLE EVAH!!!

Ok, now to the news. 

Paris Hilton was recently arrested on DUI charges but got out within less than three hours without posting bail.  Apparently the watch commander thought it was too dangerous to have the paparazzi around.

What I think the real reason is that the watch commander was more worried about the toxic seepage coming from Hilton.  Being anorexic, full of toxins, and STD’s makes her a biohazard that only a swat robot can come into contact with and not corrode in a minute (swat robots will go down in 5 minutes). 

But Hilton had a .8 blood alcohol level.  This is probably very bad as seeing she has a .0001 brain cell count and is unable to comprehend anything if she is looking at the pictures in See Spot Run let alone driving while drunk.

Well I’m glad she got arrested and hope she learns something

WHORE… (Tourettes moment)

Portzer #2